Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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