you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
