I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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