The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
