I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
