The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
