I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she pinky promised me she was 18
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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