Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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