I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
it's like heaven, but drunker
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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