Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
