No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
