We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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