so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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