I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize