And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
