You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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