Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
