Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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