can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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