high people should be assigned attendants
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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