there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
