omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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