it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I forgot how hot balto sounded
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
