Where did you get a picture of my penis
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
