What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
