2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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