There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
They are going to name an STD after you.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
