But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
