I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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