She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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