Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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