I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
