I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
