If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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