i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
