I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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