I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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