Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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