I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
