The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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