I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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