"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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