Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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