He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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