He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
