i just google imaged poop.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
