Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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