I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
