You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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