I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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