so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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