I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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