Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
