I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize