I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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