This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
