I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
