I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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