i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
