His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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